Preserve the 80s

With life throwing gallon upon gallon of shit at me as of late, I’ve decided I’m going to make an effort to have a positive outlook (an undertaking that is by no doubt doomed to failure). In that spirit, I’ve been trying to focus on the bright side as of late and attempting to find some things are going well both in the news and in my personal life. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

Jack in the Box plans for national expansion, beginning next year. Even though predictably enough, New England will be the last region to get a Jack in the Box, they do still plan to come here, most likely before the end of the next decade. Though it’s no Carl’s Jr, Whataburger, or In N Out, Jack in the Box is still head and shoulders above McDonald’s and Burger King.

The incontinence rate at Groton Regency Center has gone down for the past 3 consecutive years. This is a claim any convalescent home would be proud to boast. In 2006, they had a rate of 60%, which went down to 49% in ‘07, an at the end of last year, it stood at an impressive 29%. Unless you happen to work for the company that makes Depends, that little tidbit of news has to put a bit more bounce into your step.

Lots of people are complaining about how much Bruno sucked. I now feel validated in writing my anti Bruno post.

I’m listed on some website as being better than Pete Wentz. I don’t know who Pete Wentz is or why someone thinks I’m better than him, but it’s something to feel less melancholy about.

The guy in front of me in line at Adams almost dropped a jar of jelly but managed to catch it before it could hit the ground. In doing so he either saved himself about $3 or a jelly-less week. (depending on whether or not he’d have bought another jar to replace the broken one)

If you too take the time to count your blessings, some day you may get to be as cheerful and well adjusted as I am. May God help you if that happens.